Friday 24 February 2012

Bark to develop my own homeland

Today they set up mirrors
That reflects their ageing Arrogance
Adopting a stern detrimental line___
They alone know what to think____

In the darkness of our universe
Negatives assume the power of their original
Images, naïve termites were unleashed
To diet on the meager corner-----
------poles of the globe.

Didn’t they become subversive?
Metaphors confusing the KIRINYAGA tiers
That crushed them! Even to pee……
Which youth does not need clearance??

Who dares to bulge?
The precious days
And give evidence
For hope bereft
Only mama endures
She the greatest

Dear executives, send me home
Ill give salvage to mama again
She knows my crawl since first step
My destiny is at the anthills
Mine is son from Mt. Kenya villages
Shame on their complains
Darkness is the life they give us NEW elites
Claiming capital utility--- now I know
From your teaching Ill base my dreams
MAMA you the first and last of teachers
Am coming home, develop my homeland


Saturday 18 February 2012

A Letter To My Unborn Baby


I know one day you’ll read
this letter, so I’ll start by asking
how you are? Isn’t that what everyone
is asking these days? The
world has become one monotonous
ride and human race has lost
the very ideologies of existence.
Right now am just a young
man, 23 years, its 25th May 2011
and the call I have just made confirms
that soon you will be joining
this sinful world am living in. it’s
a good world and I know you’ll
share my view if you’ll learn to appreciate
the little that will fall on
your palms.
I write this letter because I don’t
know what might happen tomorrow,
and I wouldn’t want anyone
to tell you about my feelings towards
you- incase I don’t make to
tell you myself.
I may not have seen you yet
but I love you already, I already
feel the urge to hold you in ma
arms against any harm. We live
in a twisted world where thugs
can be more appreciated than the
leaders we elect into our parliament.
Sorry, parliament is where
a few tricksters and blood-suckers
meet to boast about how much
they have managed to suck from
innocent poor citizens and stuffed
it in hidden bank accounts.
I swear if you were here
to watch them you would be as
pissed as I am but that not the reason
for this letter. I hope when you
are born I’ll be there to protect
you. I might die today maybe even
tomorrow nobody knows!!! You
hear that? “Nobody knows.”
Yes that what we have
been reduced to, because our innocently
elected leaders have let live;
insecurity, hunger and diseases.
The world has become one confused
state in which the guilty are
enjoying the innocent’s sweat.
In Kenya we have thugs,
terrorists and Members of Parliament.
These are the three national
disasters we have to eliminate.
Ironically if we were to deal with
the last category we are likely to
contain all others.
Enough about Kenya, I
am only trying to familiarize you
with your motherland. Talking of
mother I bet she is confused right
now because you came so sudden,
she wonders whether I’ll keep my
word on taking care of her or I
will develop cold feet and run. I
swear I can’t because am excited
about the whole thing.
Am a believer of dealing
with what on the table rather than
lingering with the hiccups of the
past. I know she cares about you
so much that she won’t let anyone
try to hurt you. If you heard the
tone she used on me about you
would laugh too, ask me about
that later, am sure that will make
a juicy story on one evening.
Am your father and I
love you beyond my whole life. I
would give my life for yours, at
least I’ve lived mine and I know
you’ll touch many hearts In your
lifetime. Just remember if anyone
asks about your father say he was
one taxpayer in Kenya who loved
you so much
I can only pray to God that I’ll
hold you in ma arms everyday,
watch you take your first step,
utter your first word and teach
you to appreciate God as the provider
of every minute detail of
this world. I swear right now I
got no other reason for living, am
doing it for you. I wouldn’t want
you to face any hardship because
no child should face the same
problems his/her parents faced. I
promise to make sure am close to
you no matter the circumstances.
Am trying to think of what to call
you but I know your mother has
all that in control.
Sleep tight my unborn baby
Grow strong in mama’s tummy
And kick her every time she is sad
To remind her, she is happy with dad
I will love you my precious boy or girl
I will bring you the best toy or pearl
Mama will teach you all that I won’t
Because we both are excited infant
Hurry and fill my world with desire
To see my own seed and blood prosper
To give me the freedom to die
Or in every of your love lie

Thursday 16 February 2012

STATE PROJECT{My Demise}

It was't an accident
My breath smelt no booze
Nor did my own doom choose
The demise was a state project
To shun the ideal-ones who object

I abode by the sacred oaths
Vowed never to woorship the shut mouths
they work off-sided like night moths
trans-night to set abominations on progress
thus my end were due process

I perished in the mouths of a hunter
who kills the bird that guards him
the ground on which I stood sunk
the foundation on which stands an empty bank
my course may dwindle, but reasons prevail

I never designed lurk
but this time the state did its work
to poach those who stand for truth
.................................................
................................................. http://facebook.com/qing.jyulyan

Monday 13 February 2012

The Mawkish Side


Am here smiling to my screen, this song has become my favorite this month and days to come, my moods are high and I know this day will be good. All alone in my room I can do whatever I want today, but back in my mind I know the handout for this week’s exam paper is waiting in my drawer. This is the last clip am watching……!!
Deep in the sunshine of the morning before noon, my day is not settled but all is well. My sister calls for some assistance and I assure her,” its fine soon as I come out of the room.”My friend from home calls and asks how I am. “Am fine, just indoors for some revisions.”
The third call from my aunt came and before I could start asking myself why everyone is calling, the fateful call came. In an instance I was another person, my dad is gone!!!!!
I got silent; I thought of my mum, my brother and my sisters and the world didn’t seem to add up my questions. I called mum and her word were those from a loving mother; composed, thoughtful and reassuring. I couldn’t even cry, how is my family now, what are supposed to happen now, how, why, when?
It’s been almost three months now; I still wonder why it wasn’t different, why I didn’t call every day to say how much I loved him! I remember his every word and wonder why I can’t hear them anymore. I wonder what will ever fill this hole you left, who will ever answer all these questions I have.
I thank God for I managed to be strong, and my family survived in His grace. I always ask myself what would be different but I tell myself what’s happening is what should. I make sure I move another step and make sure all my family is fine.
“I didn’t say enough times how much I love you, I only wish you knew. I promise to keep mum and siblings together like you always kept us. We eat in the table room and talk like you were there, how you always were concerned with school, how you gave stories and joked about mum. I miss you dad, we all miss you.
I finish my final year in two months, Hellen is still fine and she takes care of all of us too, Rachael is also fine and the strongest among us, Philip I doing his KCPE this year and promised to attain 400 marks, Mary and Agnes are fine too but I worry everyday whether they understand. Above all mum misses you so much, I see it in her eyes, I hear it in her voice. She works so hard for us. Right now she is trying to fill so many forms to make sure all is fine.
I always wonder where she gets her strength, when am in school I worry there is no one to care for her, to listen to her problems, to make her smile and assure her that all is fine. I always pray that God keeps her strong for every one of us. I promised you I would take care of her and I will.
I don’t want to shed more tears become someone might see me cry and they woudn’t understand so I’ll stop writing this and hope you are watching over us all. We love you, we always remember you and your teachings.
Goodbye for now! I “

MESSAGE TO DAD
“It’s morning again,
I survived another sunset,
Another look at mum, and I smile,
She, the angel he left for us.”
And then you dawn with that last step
The doors are all closed, you can't go back
But through those glass walls you see the past
And all the good things all there with the cast
The images in my mind seems so fresh

What becomes of these dreams I harbor
What will happen to these days I labour?
While I thought of placing on someone
This responsibility that is my life
All over a sudden others have theirs on me

That time when you get the unmentioned
And your life and that of family unmotioned
Yet somehow I must act like he taught me
Be a man and show that in me he bore
And am worthy to be the guardian

I miss you dad, each passing sunset
You taught me how to live, and love what may
The importance of friends, family and God for all
I worry,
You didn’t show me how to live without you
But I love that you made sure I live after you

Sunday 12 February 2012

Yester Hearts

If a heart is not in it
Then don’t force an empty promise
A void feeling hurts a million hearts
I have lost my compatible hearts
But hope lingers in my inner fits
After having happy days in love
You wake up and all is finally lost
And the once radical hearts crush

Times,
You think of collecting the pieces
But they are so scattered you miss some
And the re-union is full of bandages,
Marks, voids, missing links and glitters
That when the awakening results
The memories will NEVER fade away
The dilemmas start to multiply and magnify

You are on your own in the world
Everyone tells you of a happy life
He does not seem to care
You don’t want to lose, you will die
Nowhere to seek a shoulder to lean on
The tears have already dried out……………………………………………………………………..

Saturday 11 February 2012

Intertwined emotions




/Pleasure turns to the pain,
/ Of the lessons learned from the strain,
/ of the questions burned in my brain,
/ About whether to love is humane
/ In its touch.
 / These thoughts are like salmon
/ Swimming upstream
 / In the tears of your deceit,
 / Fighting the current hurt
/ That kills more than is created
/ By the chaos of our intertwined emotions:
 / Chaotic because the anchor
 / Of Eros' arrow has been plucked from the vessel
 / Of my undying infatuation.
 / Separation not as simple as the distance between us,
 / My mind no longer possessed
/ By the demons
 / That had been the overseers
 / Of my enslavement to your lies.
 / The seeds of these lies,
 / Rooted so deeply
/ They have cracked the foundation
/ Of what we once shared,
/ Allowing the faith in us I had sealed inside
/ To gush out like a river,
                                                                               
 / Ripping the image of our future together
 / From my thoughts
 / As violently and as brutally
 / As if it were a child being taken
/ From his mother's arms.

/ I'm left surrounded in darkness,
 / But I refuse to be swallowed by it,

/ My loneliness like the night air.
/ Invisible to the eye, oblivious to the touch,
 / In its cold comfortableness.
/ Yet if I could do it all over again,
 / I'd do it in the same skin I'm in.
 / To lay down and let love die,
/ Just stay down and let love lie:
/ No, no, not I.
 / I'll stay 'round and let love fly,
/ Even though I have seen its darkest form, deceit.
/ Nothing else could taste this warm
/ Or feel this sweet.